HE NEVER EXPECTED MUCH
[or]
A CONSIDERATION
[A reflection] ON MY EIGHTY-SIXTH BIRTHDAY
Well, World, you have kept faith with me,
Kept faith with me;
Upon the whole you have proved to be
Much as you said you were.
Since as a child I used to lie
Upon the leaze and watch the sky,
Never, I own, expected I
That life would all be fair.
'Twas then you said, and since have said,
Times since have said,
In that mysterious voice you shed
From clouds and hills around:
'Many have loved me desperately,
Many with smooth serenity,
While some have shown contempt of me
Till they dropped underground.
'I do not promise overmuch,
Child; overmuch;
Just neutral-tinted haps and such,'
You said to minds like mine.
Wise warning for your credit's sake!
Which I for one failed not to take,
And hence could stem such strain and ache
As each year might assign
NOTE: Hardy is perhaps generous on himself here. He often struggled with his humble origins. His marriage to his first wife, Emma, was troubled and, after her death, left Hardy regretful of the unhappiness he had caused her (although the marriage was also childless and characterised by Emma's feelings of having married beneath her). Hardy's second wife, Florence, who was one of Hardy's female companions prior to Emma's death, found herself always under the shadow of Emma and mindful of Hardy's fondness for other women.