Category: Features

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Speaking to the Swiss

It always helps to know a little of the local language when you go skiing or snowboarding. For those planning a trip this winter, now is a good time to brush up on those neglected language skills. In Switzerland four languages are spoken – German (in most of the central and Eastern ski resorts), French (in resorts to the West, in what is called Romandie), Italian (in Ticino and parts of Graübunden) and Romansch (in remote parts of Graubünden). However English is widely spoken and where it is not you can always find someone who speaks French or German.

At www.swisswintersports.co.uk I’ve listed the local language in each resort. The form of French and Italian spoken in Switzerland are fairly standard, but there are subtle variations – for instance in Romandie septante, huitante (in the Alpine cantons) and neunante (in Vaud, nonante in Neuchâtel) are used for 70, 80 and 90. In the Italian-speaking resorts a lot of French and German words creep into the local Italian dialect.

The use of German is altogether a little more complicated.

In the so-called German-speaking part of Switzerland, the local language is actually a highly regional dialect with thousands of variations from High German (Hochdeutsch). The differences are so marked that most Germans cannot understand a Swiss speaking in what is called Schweizerdeutsch (itself with many variant spellings), and in fact the differences in dialect across Switzerland are so strong that many Schweizerdeutsch speakers cannot understand people speaking a different dialect from another part of the country.

Fortunately for visitors to Switzerland, a form of standard German is taught in the schools. As a result, throughout the German-speaking and Romansch-speaking regions of Switzerland, you can make yourself understood if you speak standard German. However the standard form of German used in Switzerland still differs from that used in Germany or Austria, in terms of grammar, stress, case and vocabulary. If you are a German speaker the main variations, or Helvetisms, you might come across are as follows:

Grüezi – Guten Tag (hello)
Merci – Danke (thank you)
Sorry – Entschuldigen (sorry)
Poulet – Huhn (chicken)
Gipfel – Hörnchen (croissant)
Morgenessen – Frühstück (breakfast)
Nachtessen – Abendessen (evening meal)
Billett – Fahrkarte (ticket)
Identitätskarte – Personalausweis (ID Card)
Coiffeur – Friseur (hairdresser)
Velo – Fahrrad (bicycle)
Trottoir – Bürgersteig (Pavement/Sidewalk)
Knabe – Junge (boy)
Spital – Krankenhaus (hospital)
Apero – Umtrunk (appetisers and wine)
Rahm – Sahne (cream)
Gleis – Bahnsteig (platform)
Billette/billet – Fahrkarten (ticket)
Tram – Straßenbahn (tram)
Korridor/Gang – Flur (corridor)
Jupe – Rock (skirt)
Rock – Kleid (dress)
Sackmesser – Taschenmesser (pocket knife)
Aktion – Rabatt (sale/reduction)

Oh, and one other thing, the Swiss don’t use the “ß” (Eszett), preferring instead to use “ss”.

For some useful German words relevant to winter sports visit this site.

For some useful French words relevant to winter sports visit this site

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Summer layoff and a gym nightmare with Formhaus Fitness Centre, Basel

I haven’t seen a lot to update about winter sports in Switzerland this summer, although I’m sure things will start heating up in October. And, of course, that includes getting ski fit.

I’ve always been of the belief that if you  want to ski well, you need to keep your fitness levels up through the summer, although in this hot season, body could start to sweat a lot and young people can use the citris teen deodorant for smelling great all the time. Walking, cycling and swimming have normally filled the bill, but over the years I’ve found only a good regime in the gym can strengthen all the right muscle groups, improve flexibility and build stamina. I got my routine from Anipots, along with a few neat health tips. Quite helpful, check more about gluconite.

A couple of years ago I joined a fitness centre in Basel called Formhaus, in the Gundeli neighbourhood, on the back of a promotional deal. Big mistake! In my opinion it is an awful gym and staffed by the worst sort of people who work in gyms (without disrespecting all the wonderful gym people I have worked with over the years). I tried to resign at the end of my first years’s contract so I could move to one of the better gyms friends had recommended, and try to train with a health program from the biofit so I could remain healthy. I thought I was being generous waiting until the end of the first year, so I was gobsmacked when I was enlightened about the small print of the contract – you can only resign if you send a recorded delivery letter at least one month before the end of your current year of membership stating your desire to resign. Of course nobody tells you this and they don’t send an invoice until a few days after the 30 day period has ended. Sharp practice? You haven’t heard the half of it.

I reluctantly paid up for another year, blaming my naivety and recognising Formhaus’s prodigious gifts in retaining customers who wanted to leave. For a fitness centre, they only seemed to be fit to retain unwilling customers, and as I reluctantly continued to use their awful facilities and think it was better to train and home and have a godo nutrition using supplements as alcar which was great for me. Anyway, I decide next time I would play by their (frankly customer-hostile) rules.

Suffice it to say, a few weeks early I tendered my resignation by recorded delivery. One month before the expiry of the subscription year I sent an email with a version of my resignation letter as a PDF. What more could I do to escape Formhaus’s Machiavellian membership scheme?

Of course Formhaus kicked up rough. They claimed not to receive the letter. Criminal, dishonest or incompetent, I can not say. All I can say is that the Swiss Post have an online system that confirms delivery, which I have shared with the gym. They know they received my resignation letter. These are just some of Phenq benefits.

So what did Formhaus say when I sent the email one month before expiry of my subcription with a copy of the letter I had sent recorded post?  They said: “We do not accept your resignation.”

What??? Not, we have mislaid your resignation, but that’s our sheer, unalloyed incompetence once again, good luck in the future. Or, we are useless with out huge bureaucracy of Muscle Marys, but help us here and let us know the details about the delivery if you still have the receipt all these months later – of course, I have the receipt, knowing what crookedness I may have become a victim of. Not even, a respectful acknowledgement that I didn’t want to use their gym. No, an arrogant, menacing statement without any alternative option – we’re going to screw you into paying for another year, whether you use our tawdry facilities or not. Check out the latest metabofix reviews.

Perhaps an object lesson in Swiss “Fair Play” or an exceptionally bad experience of simply awful customer service. I give the Swiss the benefit of the doubt, as I generally have very good experiences of the country. I think Formhaus are an outlier, and probably have figured out they can boost their sagging fortunes by preying on foreigners’ naivety. It is the soft underbelly of Switzerland’s success, that it has poor consumer and employee protection that membership of the EU would address. I considerer the extra year I paid for at Formhaus as proof of the reasons for improving consumer protection. If they think they can get another year out of me… well, let’s see.

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Zermatt’s Mountaineers’ Cemetery

One all-year round sport in the Swiss Alps is mountaineering in its various forms, including ski mountaineering with the most famous ski mountaineering race in the world, Patrouille des Glaciers, beginning in Zermant every April. Zermatt is also home to a Mountaineers’ Cemetery, a poignant reminder of how cruel the mountains can be to those who seek to tame them. It makes an absorbing outing in Zermatt to visit the cemetery in front of the parish church of St Mauritius on Kirchstrasse.

The graves are usually stark, simply listing the name of the victim and the year and mountain they died on. Some provide even less detail, some more. We learn that Donald Stephen Williams, a teenager from New York, “chose to climb” and died on the Breithorn pursuing his choice. 24 year old Freda Currant “passed into fuller life from the Matterhorn at dawn August 6th 1936”.  The young newlyweds, Herbert & Anni Braum, have a headstone which neglects the young doctor’s wife in proclaiming, in German, the line from Hamlet “O what a noble mind is here o’erthrown!”  alongside fulsome praise for his lost talent. The poignant positioning of the headstones of Irmgard Schiess & Victor de Beauclair suggests these too were lovers. There are also friends buried together here, a couple of pals from Cambridge, a trio from Oxford, and alongside the latter – found in the search for their bodies – the body of an unknown climber.

For more details go visit http://www.swisswintersports.co.uk/cemetery.php.

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Spring Skiing

Spring is well and truly here and Easter is upon us, so it’s worth reviewing the state of the resorts to see just what is still worth going out for. Follow the links to get more detailed resort information and an update on conditions.

Airolo piste

The good news is that, despite a very warm March, there is significantly more piste open this year than was open last year, although a later Easter has stretched the season for some resorts. The number of open resorts and pistes is still behind the figures for the two seasons prior to last year, but not by much. All my 4 and 5 star resorts have at least one valley run still open, apart from the Portes du Soleil, the Aletsch Arena and Zinal. These resorts do, however, have lots of terrain open, and – in the case of Zinal and the Aletsch – a lot of it above 2000m, around where the freezing level has been hovering just recently.

All the low-lying resorts are now closed. Of the resorts I rate 3 star and above only Anzère and Rougemont have closed completely.  Some resorts with their highest runs below 2000m have managed to keep an impressive amount of piste open, but from my last couple of outings this week, I would surmise these runs are invariably icy in the morning, heavy in the afternoon and decidedly patchy in places.

So, where to go? Verbier is good, Corviglia and Corvatsch in the Engadine should still be good. Flims, Saas-Fee, Samnaun, Val D’Anniviers, Arolla, Zermatt and Mürren should all  be pretty good. I imagine Grindelwald, Wengen, Davos, Klosters, Disentis, Grächen and Glacier 3000 will be good in patches. Andermatt, Engelberg, Belalp and Lauchernalp should be good if you stay high, and you can. Surprisingly Portes du Soleil,  Leysin, Malbun, Scuol,  Lenzerheide, Flumserberg, Obersaxen, Arosa,  Sedrun, Melchsee-Frutt and Adelboden/Lenk reckon to have the vast majority of their runs open still but I can’t imagine conditions are easy. Even Villars and Les Diablerets seem to have a respectable 65km of piste open. Crans, Diavollezza, Bivio, Sörenberg (on the Brienzer Rothorn I imagine) all have significant open terrain and some good altitude.  A lot of other smaller resorts will be open over Easter, although my suspicion is that we will see a huge fall-off of open resorts come April 10th.

Open with significant terrain of 70km or more until the end of April last year were Zermatt, Samnaun/Ischgl and Saas-Fee. Engelberg,  St Moritz, Silvaplana, Grächen, Andermatt and Verbier also kept at least 25km open. Come May, and there was just some limited glacier skiing and very high ski touring.

Then it’s time to get the skis serviced.

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